I came across the story of Saul while reading el Bible the other day. He was such a huge and influential king, and God was on his side. He fought and conquered, and God blessed him in so many ways. But almost equally, Saul failed God in many ways. Deceived, stole, tried to kill, and basically was unfaithful to God. Not an unfamiliar story. And ultimately, God rejects him as a king. Literally, He says "I regret that I have made Saul king, for he has turned back from following me and has not performed my commandments." (1 Samuel 15:11)
Dang... Saul was a fail. And there's also King David, who also ultimately failed as a king. But if you look at his story, God looks upon him with favor because David really repents of his sins. Not once do you see Saul taking the fault upon himself, he always tries to blameshift.
These days, God's been making me think about what it means to be a leader. About how much responsibility we have, and especially how much more harshly we'll be judged and such. It's actually really frightening to think about, especially since I feel like I've been doing close to nothing lately for all the activities that God has entrusted me to lead. No preparation, prayer, not even thinking about it unless it was something along the lines of "I really have to put more of myself into this."
I can blame being sick for two months, or some other lame excuse. But the fact is I just haven't been growing personally as much as I did last semester. I guess this is sort of a dry testing time for me... and it's bad because I know what I have to do, I could recite it in my sleep. But usually I don't. jfkdsla;fjdsahgdasj
What is it to be a leader? In a worldly definition, those who are best trained, qualified, and deserving. But Christian leaders are those who follow His ways and seek after Him wholeheartedly, and in return, are trained by Christ to perfection....
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Hi blog, I'm slowly coming back.... I wrote this post awhile back and saved it meaning to finish it later, but I never got around to it. Although my current situation isn't the same as back in March when I wrote it, it's nevertheless a good reminder for myself and hopefully, for you as well :)
