i'm broke.

I feel extremely guilty right now. Skipped praise and KCM and went to Ski Dazzle where I proceeded to blow a significant amount of money on snowboarding gear... money that I don't even have. I intended to buy only a jacket, pants, and gloves, but I ended up buying everything minus the clothes. Allow me to indulge a bit and make myself feel better by boasting of my purchases. And you can do your part and make me feel better by complimenting me. HAHA.

Nothing too crazy :)

Burton Lux snowboard - $180


ThirtyTwo Prion boots - $65


Forum Platform V1.5 bindings - $30
The best deal of the night. It's in men's but who cares.


Burton gloves - $20


Dakine stomp pad - $4

"free" lift ticket - $17

total = $340.37

Not too bad, but still significant for a poor college student. But now I'm readyyyyyy! And the best I can do is to think of it as an investment, since these are all nonreturnable. :)

Let's go snowboarding!

heaven on earth

I was talking to a friend and we decided to devise our ultimate concert experience that transcends petty factors such as money, availability, and even time. This was my personal rough lineup, which would be divided into 4 days a la Coachella style (minus the crazy drunkard/pothead fans) for a private performance with my friends and me. Undoubtedly they add a whole another dimension to the definition of "concert experience," but I think I can do without it in my world.

Day 1:
Start the ultimate concert experience off nice and easy. Take it back to the bare ivory bones with Thelonious Monk and slide in a little John Coltrane on the sax. Straight, no chaser after the rain. Ella Fitzgerald comes in to sing for a bit as a trio, but eventually the gentlemen drift away into the background as she shines through solo. Oh and Louis Armstrong will briefly appear for "The Nearness of You" which melts my heart through and through to the core. Crank up the bass with Lauryn Hill and then Dr. Dre... Random? I think not. We go home all pumped up and spittin' lyrics in our dreams.

Day 2:
A nice smooth transition from rap to rock with RATM. Devote a third of the day to blowing out my eardrums with the bass and acting like a renegade. Humbly enter Bono whose presence silences the craziness and mosh pits in a way that puts Harry Potter's Disapparation skills to shame. Instead of screaming that eff you, we won't do what you tell us, we're now singing about peace and being one. Ah, music. Round up the day with good old DMB and exit awesome venue with the #41 guitar riff playing endlessly in your head...

Day 3:
Incubus, Foo Fighters, and John Mayer. I've just always wanted to see Incubus and Foo Fighters live since I never got to when I was in high school, but I still love them. Those two will only take up about a third of the day, and the rest will be devoted to going gaga over John Mayer (and John Mayer Trio of course), his guitar skills, and who could forget his awesome scrunched up I'm-in-unimaginable-pain expressions whilst singing. haaaaaaaa. But yes, John Mayer. This entire topic actually stemmed from a failure to get tickets for his show this Saturday due to unforgivable scalpers. Damn you scalpers.

Day 4:
Sufjan Stevens, Sigur Ros, Coldplay, Radiohead, Damien Rice, in rough order from least depressing to most depressing. Realistically, there's no way that each artist/band can fit in one day, but I lumped them together purely because of category EMO. Alas, these are my favorites. I want to wallow in their songs of longing, love, heartbreak, unfulfilled desire, unrequited love, and so much more all jumbled up in weird instruments and minor keys.

At the end of these 4 days, I would go home, upload all my 7892347 pictures on Facebook, flop on my bed dazed, and then just burst and die from joyhappinessdisbeliefhugemusicoverdose.

Funny how the previous post talks about my desire to be disconnected from things of this world, but this one totally shows how entangled I am. Such is my everyday way of thinking...

can't wait for...

The older I get, the more I just want a simpler kind of life. Media, celebrities, guys, competition, luxuries, recognition... don't need it. There's a genuine dislike, even aversion, slowly developing within me. And even though it's strange saying that and really meaning it, it's so gratifying at the same time because I know that little by little, I'm slowly detaching myself from this world and clinging more onto Jesus.

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever."

Instead...

"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God."

I am not of this world.

joy

My favorite spot in my apartment is probably chilling on Joan's bed at nighttime, blinds folded up with the window cracked open a third of the way. It's the perfect amount to coax a cool refreshing breeze into our stuffy room as well as snippets of that awesome 1st floor electric dude jamming U2 or Los Lonely Boys. With a stomach full of King Taco and Sophie Milman streaming through my glorious speakers, I feel extremely content... even despite USC's loss today :( I'm still way too proud of my Trojans for my own good and it pains me to no end to remember there's only four more home games left for me in my last year here.

love this.

I was going to write out a bunch of other thoughts while in this lovely and comfortable state, but I totally blanked out in the light of receiving an email. Which contains the list of my new small group for this year. AGHHHHHFOEIPUWAWEJAKFKDSAKJCMKLDDA. That's all I can say for now. Until next time...

a strange place to be in

I hate to sound clichéd and all nostalgic-like, but really, how did time fly by so quickly?

The now always seems unmoving, yet somehow it situates itself differently and you're the one ending up caught off guard. For as long as I could remember, I've longed for some kind of dramatic change in my comfortable life... something not unlike the kind of transformations you see in movies. And although I haven't become a rockstar or spent some-odd months in a different country, I find myself sitting here having gone through the most challenging and transforming three years of my life. Right now I can't help but be both excited and even fearful for my last year of college (which starts in two days, eep!) Just the past half-year or so alone was something else. A total wakeup experience in terms of friends, career, family, relationships, down to something as simple as enjoying tea more fully.

An obligatory account of the what-I-dids: Today I went to Hanmi market with pushpins and tear-off flyers in an attempt to attract competitive Korean mothers that are in tune with all things academia. After an entire summer of working at an unpaid internship I'm currently trying to get out of my despicable financial situation, and thank God the forecast for incoming calls seems promising. Instead of being shoved in a narrow walkway next to the bathrooms, the flyer board was relocated to a much more visible area right outside the entrance doors and even better, the board was cleared of the thick layer of old accumulated flyers. Hopefully the only thing Hanmi shoppers will see for awhile is the ad for a Korean Master Chorale concert (which is actually my dad's poster) and my flyer for English tutoring. Tomorrow's stop, Teacher's Supplies. Ironically, that's the place I was thinking very seriously of burning down for a good decade or so of my life, but hopefully we'll be able to make amends when it becomes a source of a good flow of greens.

This totally does not make sense with what I said in the previous paragraph and I'm revealing my inner geek way too early, but I bought this today. Meaning, party at my place in a couple of days or so. Muchísimas gracias to Jon for the recommendation and as always, finding it at an unbelievable price.

Congratulations to you who was actually able and interested enough to find this site. Xanga and I had a long and enjoyable relationship together, but my audience became quite large and I wasn't able to write as personally and honestly as I wanted. Blogger seems to be an appropriate platform for more mature thoughts rather than pictures and silly elusive coded messages for crushes. And besides, it's always exciting to start something new. Hopefully this will be a useful outlet to write down thoughts and happenings, even if it is only once (or twice) in a while.